I'm having a lazy Saturday afternoon. I can think of a ton of things that I should go do. I need to bake a cheesecake for my father-in-law's 50th birthday party tomorrow. I need to make curtains for the kitchen and do the trim work. I've got knitting and cross-stitching projects. Oh and my entire house needs to be cleaned before my birthday party next weekend. Yet, I sit here being lazy and feeling guilty about it because Jeramy has worked over 30 of the last 48 hours.
I watched Julia for a while earlier today. I really do enjoy having her over, but at the same time it makes me nervous about becoming a parent myself someday. I mean when she is here I feel like I can't do anything but watch her at all times. Now she doesn't have much in the way of toys while she is here and my house is not Julia-proof. But how do parents get things done anyhow? I don't know what I'm trying to say exactly, except that I realize that it is a huge lifestyle change. I definitely want it, and we're as ready for it as we're ever going to be. But I'd be a liar if I said that I don't find these thoughts overwhelming sometimes. I wonder whether I'm to selfish to be a mom. Whether I'm going to be a bad mom, because I'm not good at playing with children. I wonder if all feels different when its your own children. I'm rambling but if there are any parents out there reading this, can you tell me if any of these feelings are normal?
Anyhow, I'll leave you with a pic of Julia and Cujo that I took today. She really loves cuddling up with him, and he seems to tolerate it at least.