Saturday, December 29, 2007

A Lazy Saturday

I'm having a lazy Saturday afternoon. I can think of a ton of things that I should go do. I need to bake a cheesecake for my father-in-law's 50th birthday party tomorrow. I need to make curtains for the kitchen and do the trim work. I've got knitting and cross-stitching projects. Oh and my entire house needs to be cleaned before my birthday party next weekend. Yet, I sit here being lazy and feeling guilty about it because Jeramy has worked over 30 of the last 48 hours.

I watched Julia for a while earlier today. I really do enjoy having her over, but at the same time it makes me nervous about becoming a parent myself someday. I mean when she is here I feel like I can't do anything but watch her at all times. Now she doesn't have much in the way of toys while she is here and my house is not Julia-proof. But how do parents get things done anyhow? I don't know what I'm trying to say exactly, except that I realize that it is a huge lifestyle change. I definitely want it, and we're as ready for it as we're ever going to be. But I'd be a liar if I said that I don't find these thoughts overwhelming sometimes. I wonder whether I'm to selfish to be a mom. Whether I'm going to be a bad mom, because I'm not good at playing with children. I wonder if all feels different when its your own children. I'm rambling but if there are any parents out there reading this, can you tell me if any of these feelings are normal?

Anyhow, I'll leave you with a pic of Julia and Cujo that I took today. She really loves cuddling up with him, and he seems to tolerate it at least.

5 comments:

Jaime and Chris said...

Oh Jen! I'm sure you will be an excellent mom. We all feel that way around other people's kids.

Cute pic of Julia and Cujo. She is such a cutie! BTW, Ellie apparently misses Cujo and was moping a bit yesterday (per Chris) - too cute!

Katie said...

Lazy Saturdays are the best!

I get what you are saying about watching other peoples' children. My husband and I have close friends with two little boys. We often watched them for the night and when the husband was in Iraq, we would take them for the weekend to give her a much deserved break. After they would leave, I would straighten the house up and SAVOR the quiet. . . and then CRASH. But you are right, your house will be set up to be more baby friendly and you and your child(ren) will grow together.

YOU WILL BE AN EXCELLENT MOM! I just know from the kindness and compassion that you always show to others!

Barb said...

I feel the same way.

jenn said...

Lazy saturdays are fantastic- I'm glad you took full advantage of one!

And I also get what you are saying, but I agree with the other commenter about growing with your child. It is a gradual process & you have time to adjust to the constant activity. (not that infancy is a cake walk, just that they aren't mobile then) It's easy to think you would be overwhelmed based on one day's experience. Heck- I babysat 3 perfect children in their own home & I left thinking that 3 is not for me! But after I have 1, then hopefully 2- would I change my mind on #3, maybe!

Barry said...

Uncle Barry's take on parenting: Love my kids. I mean L-O-V-E 'em. But that doesn't mean that I don't occasionlly daydream about the days when I could wake up on a Sunday morning and sip a cup of coffee and read the newspaper and not have this peaceful serenity shattered by a kid yelling "DAD, I'm HUNGRY!!". (In fact that exact thing just happened as I try to type this)

I know many parents who devote every waking moment to their kids. They don't do anything or go anywhere without them. Suzie and I are not these people. For years we would not go to a (non-fastfood) resturant with our kids. We decided that constantly having to tend to them and pull them from under the table was ruining our dining experience. I'm always amazed to see a couple bring their 4, 3 year and 1 month old into Olive Garden and then watch as the spend the entire meal trying to control the chaos. That just does not appeal to me. Same goes for vacations. Suzie and I often ask ourselves "Do we take the kids or do we go and have fun?".

Now before you think we just keep our kids in a pet carrier all day this is not the case. We do all the normal parenting stuff with them: Soccor, Basketball, Baseball practicies, vacations in Maui, camping, we even let them come to dinner with us on occasion. But my point is you must have a balance, there is your role as a parent and then there are times when it's all about YOU (and you and your spouse). I can't tell you how many couples I've seen who spent 18-19 years devoting every waking moment to their kids lives and then when the kids are gone and the house is empty they turn to their spouse and say "Who are you?".