Other moms get excited when their babies crawl. Not me. Why you ask?
Well a crawling baby loves dog food. They love all cords. They love laptop computers. They love newspaper. They love to put these things in their mouth.
Crawling babies love to smack their heads on hardwood floors and then howl until you comfort them. Then they get big bruises for the world to see what a crappy parent you are. Then they do it all again 5 minutes later.
When you pick up the crawling baby they knock your can of diet coke off the counter. Because they love cans. Then you have to clean up the sticky pop with a towell with your foot because you cannot put the crawling baby on the floor because you don't want them covered in diet coke.
Crawling babies discover the dog door. They start playing with the flap. Pretty soon they'll be escaping through it causing you to have to seal it off. Which in turn upsets the already downtrodden dog who lost his place as baby of the family and who can no longer access his food because it is covered by a laundry basket.
Crawling babies like baby toys. But even more fun are dog toys. Like disgustingly dirty stuffed animals and pig hoofs. They also like to put these things in their mouths.
Crawling babies like to make it impossible for their parents to get anything done because they must divert attention from some life-threatening activity to a safe one about once every minute.
About the only thing worse than a crawling baby is a walking baby, because then they can reach about a foot higher.