Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Grateful

Today I decided to work from home because I did not have any meetings, and I've been feeling more exhausted than usual lately. It was a good decision, and I honestly got much more done than I probably would have in the office. I also got a very different view point of what Jillian does while I work all day. I spent the bulk of my day in the recliner with my laptop perched what felt like light years away thanks to my growing belly. This turned out to be the ideal position for watching my belly twitch with her harder kicks, which are quite frequent these days. It was bizarre and perhaps one of the coolest things I've ever experienced. Really this whole pregnancy has been amazing even on the relatively rare bad days.

Over the past several months, I've become very grateful for the journey I took to get to this point. I would never wish fertility problems on anybody, but because I struggled my happiness now feels even more complete. I also realize how very lucky we really were. Our problems were easy to diagnose...all evidence pointed to an ovulation disorder. And although we were never able to identify why I have this condition, it was easily fixed with a little Femara. There were a whole host of more complicated conditions or more expensive treatments that we never had to contend with but many of you have. Plus once pregnant, things have gone very smoothly, and for the most part I've been able to enjoy this pregnancy free of worry. The only thing that would make this happiness more complete would be to see my friends who are still struggling reach a similar end.

Perhaps the biggest lesson I've learned through all of this is that worry is a pointless waste of energy. Bad things happen to good people all the time, and worry does nothing to brace yourself for it. It is better to enjoy the good times to their fullest, so that you have those memories to fall back on when hard times hit.

Anyhow, enough of the sappy, emotional stuff. It's a couple days late but I finally remembered to get Jeramy to take a 28 week pic of me today. Admittedly I'm not looking particularly photogenic, but I didn't bother with make-up and hair today seeing as I did not go into the office.

4 comments:

JamieD said...

Ahhh . . . it sounds like a wonderful day at home.

Great pic, BTW!!

Nicky said...

I *love* working from home with my feet up, watching the baby make my laptop jump. Good stuff!

I totally agree with your description of gratefulness. I'm still a little bitter that it took more than just me and hubby to get me pregnant, and that we had to wait so friggin' long, but in the grand scheme of the IF world, we had it extremely easy. And it has made me face my pregnancy with a patience and acceptance that I don't think I would have any other way. Bitter or not, I'll always be grateful for the attitude adjustment.

Poltzie said...

Aww, that belly is so so so cute! That little girl of your is going to be beautiful!

s.e. said...

You are looking so pregnant. I might even be one of those icky people that want to give your belly a little rub if I saw you in real life!

Thanks for your "enjoy the good times to their fullest" encouragement. I have been having those thoughts all day and am going to be devoted to giving this a whirl. You are a beautiful prego with an amazing appreciative heart. What a wonderful mommy you are becoming.