Not Enough Hours in the Day

I'm looking at the date on my phone at work and it says 8/24/2010. Seriously? Late August? When the hell did that happen? Life is moving at a frantic pace. I have been back at work for a month now. New projects are invading my weekday hours; chasing, feeding and bathing two small children consumes my evening hours; while friends, family, birthdays and BBQs take over on the weekend. Summer time is busy in Seattle. We must take advantage of the sunshine before the endless months of gray skies and drizzle arrive.

So yeah, it is back to being a working mom for me and a stay at home dad for Jeramy. We had three months of togetherness as a family of four which will probably never happen again in our lives. We went to two zoos, met up for play dates, and enjoyed a multitude of Costco runs. And on weekends there still were the friends, family, birthdays and BBQs. Plus I spent the better part of my leave at the dentist getting a root canal and two fillings and the vet for Cujo's endless ear problems. I sort of thought of it all as some quality "me time".

Upon my arrival back at work, people emphasized with me about how excruciating it must be to have to leave my girls every day. I nodded my head, smiled and thought of Jeramy at home dealing with the diaper blow-outs and temper tantrums. Perhaps I could be a stay at home mom, but the lot of working mom isn't necessarily so horrible either. Nobody ever laments over new fathers when they go back to work. Can't a woman be happy to return to work and still be a good mom? I get mixed messages from society on that one.

We celebrated Jeramy's 32nd birthday at the beginning of the month and then our 12th anniversary on Sunday. Soon it will be Jillian's 2nd birthday and then Thanksgiving and then Christmas and then Hayden's 1st birthday. *sigh* I just wish time would slow a little bit.

Until the next post, I leave you with some highlights from our summer...

22 Months

Dear Jillian,

It is hard to believe that it is already time to start planning for your second birthday. It seems like such a short time has passed since I saw that first positive pregnancy test. And now you have already been in our lives for not one but two years. The acceleration of time that has occurred since your birth is downright frightening.

That is not to say that this whole parenthood thing has been easy. On the contrary, I often find myself thinking that you have been sent into my life to develop my much lacking patience with your increasing independence. You certainly think that you are the boss of all of us these days with your constant orders to me, your dad, your sister and especially the dog. Just yesterday you brought the TV remote to me and commanded, "Elmo, Elmo" and cried when I left it on Hoarders. It isn't that I don't love you sweetheart. I really do. I just can't stand to watch that annoying red monster and his idiot friend Mr. Noodle over and over again.

I must admit that there are days I fear you will turn into the most ill-behaved demon child to walk this earth. This is not to say that I think you are bad. It is just that you have so much personality and so much energy that I really must limit my battles with you to pinching, biting, hitting and maintaining a bedtime that keeps me sane and you reasonably well rested. So when we stayed in a hotel the other night I let you jump from bed to bed (and yeah maybe you bonked your head). And it does seem like you spend more time in Hayden's swing and bouncy seat than she does. And I pretty much ignore your ear piercing screams, because really you might have a future in horror movies someday given the pitches your voice is capable of reaching. And it seems that nearly every day I wind up ignoring at least one all-out twenty minute long temper tantrum caused by reasons completely unknown to me. Can we just agree to disagree sometimes my dear Jillian?

Luckily for you, it is universally agreed that you are one of the most adorable toddlers in the universe. Which means you can get away with a lot. Plus you are extremely social and meet everybody you see with a "hi", "bye" and best of all "thank you". Everywhere we go I am told how sweet you are. And when I respond "try living with her" all I receive are skeptical looks.

But if I am to be serious for a moment, no matter how trying the tantrums and crying can be, you are completely worth it. The hugs, smiles and cuddles I get from you make me smile from head to toe even on the worst of days. Your exuberant personality is encompassing. I just try to remind myself that all the traits will lead you to become a strong and independent woman down the road. Obstinance will develop into persistence. The "no's" and "stops" will become firm opinions.

In the meantime I will keep watching you learn. Whether it is making our first batch of cookies together (your "tank you's" whenever I let you pour a cup of something in the bowl were adorable) or reading book after book after book or singing "itsy, bitsy spider" for the millionth time, it is so exciting to watch you grow and see your face light up with excitement. You and your sister and your daddy are and will always be the best things that ever happened to me.

Love,

Mom

Sibling Rivalry

Aaaahhhh! They look so cute together. And yet there is contention in the ranks these days.

Jillian has reached an age where she cannot say very many words but always has an opinion. She has discovered that while her verbal capabilities are limited, she can couple words with physical action and pointing to express herself. There have been some rather amusing incidents lately where she has used this approach to show us her dissatisfaction with our attentions to her little sister. For example:

This morning around 7:00am at work, I received a call from Jeramy. He had just gotten Hayden out of bed. Apparently Jillian did not think this was a good idea and pushed him with the baby back into Hayden's bedroom and demanded that he put the "baby" back into bed. When he set her down she pulled him back out into the living room. Obviously he had to get the baby who was hungry, so Jillian's demands could not be satisfied for very long. He called me so that I could hear the complete meltdown she was having over it. I'm sorry Jillian but we cannot leave Hayden locked away in her bedroom forever. I hope you understand one day.

One evening after work I was alone with both girls. Jillian patted Hayden's play mat and said "baby, baby". I set Hayden down on the mat and Jillian proceeded to take my hand and had me sit down in the recliner where we feed the baby. She climbed into my lap, gave me her sippy cup, and laid down wanting me to feed it to her like I do with her sister's bottles. I must admit that I complied...it was too cute not to.

So yeah, she is a little jealous. It doesn't bother me much. Given her personality, it is probably a good thing for Jillian to get used to sharing early in life.

Aunt Jen

I'm pretty excited because I'm about to become an Aunt very soon. Technically, I am already an Aunt as my SIL has a daughter and my stepbrother has children. However now that my sister is pregnant, I'm really going to be an Auntie, and I must say that I'm more than a little excited about Lily Marie's impending arrival in late October.

Growing up, Jaime and I did not have cousins our own age. At family gatherings it was just the two of us, which was a bit boring as we already had our fill of playing with each other. When my brother came along he had cousins his age on both sides of our family, and we were just a tad jealous. Being only a couple years apart in age, I always hoped that Jaime and I might have children around the same age, but for a while that was looking unlikely. So now that it is actually happening, I am over the moon. Between us we will have three little girls who I can't wait to see growing up together.

Right now I am planning her baby shower along with her best friend. I think I might be more excited about her shower than I was my own! Oh and I did I mention she is the cutest pregnant lady ever?


I love you Jaime! We can't wait to meet Miss Lily in a few months!

Jillian and Hayden...a Pictoral Comparison

It seems like I'm always getting the comment that Jillian and Hayden look absolutely nothing alike. Certainly there are differences, but I'm not sure they look quite as dissimilar as people think because they are comparing Jillian now to Hayden and not Jillian 18 months ago to Hayden. So here are a few pictures for comparison's sake:

Jillian (9 weeks)

Hayden (12 weeks)

Jillian (13 weeks)

Hayden (11 weeks)

Different but similar is how I'd describe their features.

3 Months

Today marks the 1/4 of a year mark for Miss Hayden. She is so little, and yet I'm feeling nostalgic already. As I'm not planning to have any more children (well we know how well my plans work out, but that is not the point), I find myself thinking but I'll never have a baby this little again. And she is such a sweet and easy baby. She is precisely the type of baby that sweetly deceives couples into trying for one of their very own, only to have them feeling disillusioned when they are up night after night for weeks on end trying to soothe their colicky, fussy infant. It really is best that she be my last. That way I can spend the rest of my life condescendingly offering young women advice on how best to raise their newborns and raising my eyebrows in disbelief when they describe the trials of new motherhood with only the memories of Hayden fresh in my mind and the memories of Jillian buried in the corners of my once sleep deprived brain.

As you can see Hayden is all smiles these days. She does not smile on command for the camera as her sister would, but instead offers the most adorable grins when only I am there to treasure them. Other times she seems to have a wide-eyed look of near terror on her face as if she suddenly realizes that these crazy people surrounding her are indeed her family.

I went back to work late last week, and while I miss my little pumpkin, I did not cry. I'm not really the sort that cries over this sort of thing as (1) I like my paying job and (2) two under two is a much tougher job that I'm more than happy to pass on to my now weary husband. Life has pretty much returned to normal or at least our new state of normal. Our weekends are jam packed this summer with weddings, birthdays and other fun outings that I may one day manage to post pictures of. Luckily Hayden is quite accepting of our busy lifestyle and is happily transported in her car seat anywhere at anytime. If only Jillian were so flexible.

Speaking of Jillian, she continues to be quite happy with her new little sister. Mostly because Hayden contentedly watches her older sister's constant performances as she attempts (and succeeds) at being the center of attention at all times. Any of my relatives would tell you that the dynamic exactly mirrors that of me and my younger sister. Occasionally I have spotted a little jealousy in Jillian like the other day when she demanded that I place the "baby" on her play mat and then sit in the recliner and feed Jillian her sippy cup like a bottle.

Sleep continues to be reasonable. Jillian is pretty consistent in an 8pm bedtime, and usually I can get Hayden to sleep around the same time. Usually she only wakes up once between then and when I wake up for work at 5am, so I really cannot complain. Of course now that I have posted this all hell will break loose. She naps in her swing periodically throughout the day. With Jillian at this age I had a whole nap routine worked out. Not so with Hayden. She just sleeps when she wants to and is awake the rest of the time with very little fussing in between.

And yes, I know exactly how lucky I am.

21 Months

Jillian turned 21 months old today. While this might not be quite as exciting for her as another 21st birthday might be in the future, it is pretty amazing to me. In just three months she will be two, which seems impossibly old to me.

This past month she has become increasingly independent. No! (said with arms folded) is definitely one of her favorite words, although she'll still sprinkle in some "yeahs" along with plenty of hugs and kisses. In the past few days, she has also started saying "memememememe!" when wanting something for herself. She understands when I ask her to identify body parts, she knows the difference between her, mommy, daddy and baby. She will often mix up the terms "mommy" and "daddy" and Jeramy is a bit concerned with the frequency with which he is called "mommy". I'm sure that will likely reverse when I go back to work in a couple weeks. She is my little social butterfly who loves to greet everybody she meets "hi" and "bye". Going "bye bye" is still one of her favorite activities along with going outside or " 'side" as Jillian refers to it. She gets quite excited when we tell her to go get her shoes. Both my girls garner us a lot of attention when we are out, which I don't mind. People tell us that we are very lucky, and they are absolutely correct.

Night terrors continue to be a problem for Jillian. If we dare to stay out past the hour of 9pm as we did for the 4th of July, we most certainly pay the price with a screaming, thrashing toddler about an hour after she goes to bed. It is harder on us than her as she doesn't remember anything since she was sleeping. It kills us though since there is absolutely nothing that can be done to help her. I could just as well leave her in bed, but since we end up awake regardless it feels better to hold and rock her through it. They can last for up to 30 minutes. I really, really hope she out grows this soon, because it is absolutely heartbreaking.

This month will bring on new challenges as we are going out of town over night on two different weekends for weddings. I'm not sure how this will go given Jillian's sleeping issues and the 2 month old, so I limited each trip to just one night even though people wanted us to go for longer. Jillian has not slept anywhere overnight except for her crib since October, so I'm of course concerned. She does not sleep well in bed with us. Since she isn't used to it, she usually she just plays or rolls off the bed in her sleep. I'm going into both trips with exceedingly low expectations for the amount of sleep our family will get and exceedingly high expectations for the amount of caffeine that I will be consuming.

There are certainly times where I'm exhausted and at my wits end between temper tantrums and a house that seems to go from clean to disaster in about 60 seconds. But really, I wouldn't change a single thing about either of these two girls.