A Tough Weekend

What I had expected to be a relaxing holiday weekend, turned into a very sad time when we got word that Jeramy's stepmom had died early Saturday morning. It was very upsetting to all of us, especially considering that it was unexpected and she was young. Vickie was one of the nicest people ever, and came over several times to help me after Jillian was born. She especially had a talent for getting her to fall asleep! I know she was looking forward to meeting Hayden and had used her money to buy a crib and dresser. She had just gotten to see the room set-up on Thursday.

Rest in peace, Vickie. You are very much missed.

Mega Cisterna Magna

Yes that is a mouthful for a title to a blog post. It is the name of a condition that Hayden appears to have. It sounds scary, but in all likelihood has no clinical significant. Before I go any further though, let me fill you in on my roller coaster of a Tuesday afternoon.

I worked a half day on Tuesday morning and was prepared for a killer of an afternoon. From 1pm - 7pm I had scheduled a Maternal Fetal Medicine appointment, 28 week OB appointment, physical therapy and massage. At least I was ending with a massage...right? Anyhow, things went awry almost immediately. As I mentioned around Christmas, a part in Hayden's brain called the Cisterna Magna was measuring borderline during a ultrasound at the MFM clinic. A follow-up ultrasound three weeks later still showed it measuring borderline. On Tuesday, the measurement exceeded borderline and went into the abnormal range making it Mega Cisterna Magna.

So the question is what does this mean? The most common problem would be Danny Walker syndrome, which is often seen with Mega Cisterna Magna and other malformations in the cerebellum. However, my ultrasound showed those other structures to be just fine. It could be a marker for a Trisomy disorder despite the lack of other markers, a well growing baby (78th percentile) and a good sequential screen. The only way to eliminate that possibility was through an amnio. It could be that there are other brain abnormalities that we cannot detect via ultrasound. Or it could be that it is just a really big Cisterna Magna which based on current medical literature appears to have no clinical significance by itself and Hayden would likely be perfectly normal.

Based on this range of possibilities, I decided to go ahead with an amniocentisis. Now that the measurement was truly abnormal, I knew that they would keep coming back to the chromosomal abnormality as a possibility unless it was ruled out. Plus being 28 weeks pregnant, I felt a little better about it than I did at 21 weeks, because even should complications occur there was a possibility that I could deliver a living baby. A scarily premature baby, but at least there would be a chance. We did the amnio immediately. Although the idea of big ass needles does not thrill me, I wasn't very worried about the procedure itself. I looked away when the doctor whipped that sucker out. It was probably worse for Jeramy who saw exactly how large the needle jammed into my abdomen actually was. They wanted me to take it easy for the next 24 hours so I worked from the comfort of the recliner in my living room on Wednesday. The preliminary results came back this morning...they are perfectly fine. We do not anticipate the final results would be any different. Phew!

Oh and did I mention that I had my regular OB appointment and 1 hour GTT immediately following the MFM appointment? Yeah, it was great to down the glucola and then get an amniocentisis. Really, everybody should try it sometime.


With chormosomal abnormalities ruled out, the other thing would be to rule out brain abnormalities not seen on the ultrasound. The MFM doctor referred me for a MRI and a consult with a specialist in prenatal neurology. I went in for the MRI this afternoon. I've never actually had an MRI before for myself let alone for this being living inside me. I asked the technician beforehand how long it would take, and his response was that it depended on how well my fetus stayed still. Great. I can control me staying still, but Hayden...good luck. So I spent about 20 minutes hanging out in the claustrophobic tube and was handed a CD of my pictures. For the most part the are completely unintelligble to me. However, I thought that this one was kind of cool:

As you can see Hayden has her head crammed against my cervix. This seems to be the position of choice with her based on all ultrasounds since the 20 week mark. It makes it a bit difficult to get good ultrasounds photos of her brain and they have to use all sorts of awkward angles and press down as hard as possible. It would make for a convenient exit when the time comes, except that I'm having a scheduled c section.

On the 19th, Jeramy and I will take the CD of photos and go visit the prenatal neurologist. Hopefully he'll tells us that everything other than the Cisterna Magna looks perfectly normal. I am trying not to let myself get overly worked up about this. The odds are in our and Hayden's favor for a perfectly healthy little girl especially now that the amnio has come back clear. Hopefully we'll just have spent a lot of time blowing thousands of my insurance company's dollars determining my baby is perfectly normal.

I told Jeramy that this is karma at work. Jillian was stressful to conceive. Hayden is stressful to gestate.

Oh yeah, and did I mention I'm in the third trimester now? We'll have two under two before I know it.

16 Months

Jillian turned 16 months old yesterday. It is such a fun age as she is constantly learning, growing and having fun. It is also a trying age as her motor skills are greatly outpacing any ability to reason. Kisses and hugs alternate with tantrums and meltdowns these days. My daughter is quite headstrong, independent, determined and rather reckless, but really I wouldn't have it any other way even at the end of another trying day as her energy and enthusiasm are invigorating.

It is so fun to watch Jillian change from day to day. She has sprouted a couple new teeth lately bringing the total to 9 (with another molar looking to emerge soon). Partly in response to the excess drool, she has found great joy in making spitting noises, which I should probably admonish but instead find myself encouraging because it is so dang cute. I must also admit that I'm going to miss her crooked smile, as she has had only three teeth on the bottom for a couple months now. The emergence of tooth number 4 brought relief to Jeramy though, as was beginning to wonder if it even existed.
One of Jillian's favorite things to do is go places. If you get her coat or sweatshirt out, she immediately runs to you wanting it put on. It doesn't really matter where we go because everything is still new to her. I've learned to bring treats along though, because she gets rather antsy in the shopping cart. She will walk holding my hand as long as I don't stop. She must always be in motion. Even in the car she'll still get fussy if the light is red too long.

She occasionally adds a new word to her vocabulary of dada, mama, and dog. First there was hi. Then last weekend she said the word "bye". At first we found it cute, and we'd keep repeating it back to her. After she said it for the millionth time in two days, it had become a bit more wearing. Finally when leaving Costco she said it at an appropriate time to the person checking our receipt.

She is a biter. And a hair puller. I tried telling her "ow" when she pulled my hair. In response she pulls her own pig tail and says "ow". Not exactly what I was going for, but cute nonetheless.

She is fascinated with her shoes and socks. Not only does she love pulling them off (especially in the car) but she loves trying to put them back on too with limited success. We bought her a pair of oversized rubber boots that she can put on. She also enjoys trying my shoes on and shuffling around in them. When I'm sitting in the recliner with my feet up (which is often because she likes to flip the lever if you're feet are down) she'll bring over various pairs of shoes to try on me.

I'm almost afraid to say this, but Jillian has been amazingly healthy this winter and hasn't even had a cold. Jeramy has been the sick one amongst us, which is odd considering that he is home most of the time. By the way his sore throat finally cleared after a few days of antibiotics! Hooray! No mono or anything else horrible.

In less than three short months, her world will be turned upside down with Hayden's arrival. I'm not sure how she will enjoy sharing mommy and daddy's attention, but I hope that someday in the future she learns to love her little sister. In the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy these last couple of months as the mom of one child. In all honesty I'm dreading the newborn phase and lack of sleep. I've ordered up one of those quiet newborns who sleeps all the time, only wakes up to eat, and never cries. That is possible, right?

Here are a few (okay a lot more than that) pictures of Jillian's recent adventures:

After her diaper change, she insisted on trying out Hayden's crib one morning.

Riding around our yard on a quad with Dad and then riding on her own.
Playing outside on an unusually sunny day here in Seattle.
Unfortunately she wasn't as keen on coming back inside.

We'll describe these two pictures as foods that were daddy's idea.

What Not to Wear - Baby Edition

For the most part, I'd say that it is pretty hard to go wrong when it comes to dressing your baby no matter what your budget. Everything in every color, cut and style looks cute on Jillian. She never complains that something makes her butt look big. In truth, she is really too easy to shop for, as evidenced by my many trips to stores to purchase clothing for myself that instead result in even more clothing purchases for her. Because she really does need 100 onesies.

Of course when you have a stay-at-home dad arrangement, the "rules" of baby fashion are often forgotten. And when that happens, I often come home to find this:

Birth/Adoption Announcement Giveaway

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Why it is Difficult to Update my Blog

Based on the handful of comments I receive on my posts, I am sure that my adoring readers have been grossly disappointed by the lack of posts lately. And being the people pleaser that I am, it greatly upsets me to fail you all. You see things have just really gotten out of hand for me in the past few weeks, to the point where I'd almost rather hide under my desk at work than venture home at night to yet another chaotic evening.

First I had to stay late at work a couple nights this week. This isn't really out of the ordinary as my schedule with its early to arrive and depart times must often bend to the constraints of pretty much everybody else that I work with. Most of the time it is not a big deal other than needing to drive in rather than catch my vanpool. But with everything else added into my evenings, it has been more stressful.

Then there were the two PT appointments that I needed to fit in this week. I didn't even manage to get a massage scheduled as there were no openings at times that worked for my schedule. Bummer! The PT seemed to be working as my back pain had subsided quite a bit...until Wednesday night.

Jeramy woke up early Wednesday morning with the sore throat from hell. By that afternoon he was a miserable mess with a fever and body aches added into the mix. I picked Jillian up from his mom, fed him dinner, fed us dinner, bathed Jillian, and dressed Jillian in a living room that felt like it was heated to 100 degrees because he had the fire going full blast to help relieve his chills. Then, because he was in no condition to watch the little Miss, I took her to Target and then my knitting group. I had no intention of actually knitting anything but felt the need to get out and socialize. Which I did while chasing Jillian around the frozen yogurt shop where we meet...an activity which didn't quite agree with my back.

Then yesterday morning I realized I had left my wallet behind. So I woke the still miserable Jeramy up to borrow his debit card. Luckily a gal in my knitting group had my wallet for me so I made arrangements to pick it up after my late meeting that evening. In the meantime Jeramy went to the doctor and found out that he does not have strep or the flu. They gave him antibiotics and said that if those don't work it could be mono. My God, if he has mono I am going to die. Or worse, I might get mono. Could you imagine third tri and mono? Or what if Jillian gets sick too? She is all about kissing these days and its not like she offers the closed mouth version either. 3rd tri, sick dad, sick mom and sick toddler? It sounds like the makings of a horror movie. Anyhow immediately after getting home in the evening I grabbed Jillian and we went to the drug store to fill his perscription and buy every kind of throat soothing remedy on the planet. After delivering Jeramy with horse sized pills (which must be great with the sore throat) I fed him, fed Jillian, bathed Jillian, dressed Jillian...sound familiar? Then I put her to bed, popped a couple tylenol and lathered my lower back in Ben Gay.

Tonight I have a still sick husband at home and another PT appointment. Which sounds relaxing compared to the weekend errands I need to run and the cleaning that needs to be done. I really want Jeramy to feel better soon. Not because I feel bad for him, but because I feel bad for me. Do I win wife of the year for that statement?

Haiti

Over a week later, I still have a hard time watching coverage of the earthquake in Haiti without crying. In my last position one of the research clinics I worked with was in Port-au-Prince, and the team there managed one amazing operation considering the conditions in that country. I remember many times trying to import lab equipment from centrifuges to -80 degree freezers into that country and it would take many, many months to get everything through local customs. I was told that bribes were usually necessary to get anything done, but unfortunately that is not an allowable expense on NIH grants. So I can't say that I'm surprised by how slow the response has been to get humanitarian aid to them. The government did not have the infrastructure to support the population's basic needs. A government with most of its buildings collapsed and many officials missing or dead is not going to perform any better.

If you are looking for a place to donate, may I suggest giving to the GHESKIO clinic which is the one I have worked with in the past. Since the earthquake, the clinic has been transformed into a refuge camp and hospital. I know these doctors, nurses, and staff and it is not stretch to say that they are all amazing and this money would not go to waste.