9 Months

(this girl loves her doggie!)

Hayden has now been on the outside as long as she was on the inside. It is funny how little things seem to change on a daily basis. But then, when you look back over several months, you realize just how rapid a baby changes. This really hit home last weekend when we visited a friend and her newborn in the hospital. I swear I just blinked and Hayden went from a tiny fragile infant to a chubby, mobile baby.

Hayden continues to prove herself happy and adaptable. This past month has introduced some challenges in the sleep department. I attribute it to hitting big milestones like crawling and pulling herself up. She wakes herself up several times each night practicing crawling in her sleep or becoming restless and unable to calm herself back down. Usually re-inserting her pacifier does the trick, but sometimes she wants to be rocked back to sleep or even occasionally demands a bottle. The bad nights are when Jillian gets up several times and Hayden wakes up several times. The horrible nights are when Hayden's crying wakes Jillian up and I have two tired, crying children to deal with. Thankfully I can hand one off to Jeramy but really folks this is a major reason that I'm not considering a third child.

Naps are another issue. While Hayden doesn't usually get too cranky, she has been resisting naps these days. And when she does take them they are short. I remember with Jillian that this was a difficult age as they want to be awake and experiencing new things rather than sleeping. It also always seems like at least one child is awake at all times with Hayden usually taking two naps and Jillian taking one.

I must admit that I am feeling rather worn out these days. I think that I'm usually getting enough sleep in terms of hours, but with the constant interruptions I never wake up feeling truly rested. Plus there is the weather as winters in Seattle are gray and soggy. The days are short, and I go to work and return home in the dark. During the week it often feels like I'm either working, commuting, caring for children or cleaning and on the weekends its kids, cleaning and laundry all day long. I need to work on finding balance again in life, but as any mom knows that is not always easy. Plus I have had some other stresses piled on me in the past month that I think may be exaggerating my fatigue. It will all get easier some day, I know. I just have to find a way to make it all manageable now so that I can make enjoying my family a priority.

And really, with a baby like Hayden, there is so much to enjoy. I swear she is the baby that makes everybody else want to have babies. What a sweetheart.

They Actually Exist!!!

My days are pretty predictable: wake-up, get ready, work, make dinner, kids bath/bed routine, clean house, catch a couple minutes of TV and then bed. Weekends are wake-up, get ready, clean house, chase kids, clean house, chase kids, feed kids, nap time, clean house, chase kids, dinner, kids bath/bed routine, clean house, catch a couple minutes of TV and then bed. Wednesdays I get a couple of hours of Jen time (no DH or kids) but otherwise it is work/kids/husband 24/7. Frankly it gets a little exhausting. So when the Seattle area infertility bloggers get together rolled around Saturday night, I must admit that I was pretty damn excited. Sure meeting people who you call your "friends" but have never actually met is a little intimidating. But there would be no husband or kids. And there would be cheesecake.

I must say that we had a fantastic time. I am pretty sure that if there were no other constraints, we might still be chatting each other up right now. It is really an amazing experience to meet somebody whose blog you have read for so long that you feel like you already know them having gone through together the trials of infertility then pregnancy then newborns then toddlers then another pregnancy and then two raising children. What is even more amazing is to find out they are real people and their blogs really reflect them. I spent much of our conversation thinking they totally get me.

And yes, we even got a picture:

Clockwise from lower left Sunny, Ludicrous Mama, me, Katie. Our photographer would like to remain anonymous, but I can tell you she is totally sweet and about to be pregnant when her current first IVF cycle is completed (fingers crossed!!!)

Although I don't blog much about my infertility experience these days, it is still something that is very much a part of me. It was really great to get together with a group of women who have been there and understand that as well as encourage somebody in the midst of treatments. The word on the street is that this will be a get together of some frequency...so Seattle area folks stay tuned! And those outside of Seattle, well you may just want to think of moving here soon!

A New Doo

When we were about 2 and 4 my little sister and I gave each other hair cuts. We are told that Jaime did a pretty good job on my hair. I on the other hand destroyed hers.

Well...what goes around comes around it seems.

The other day, Jeramy's 4 year old niece decided that Jillian wanted shorter hair.


She gave her bangs. Very short bangs.


And I'm not quite sure what she was trying to do with the side.

An emergency trip to the hairdresser was in order when I got home from work. Not really wanting to chop everything off, I went with an reverse bob, which masks the damage to the side somewhat. The front...well...we just have to wait for it to grow out I guess.

Entering 2011 with Perspective

So yeah...I haven't been the greatest blogger lately. The holidays really got the better of me. I had grand ideas of doing it all: baking cookies, mounds of presents for the girls, a sparkling clean house, hosting guests with flair and style. What I ended up with was gaining 5 pounds from eating cookie dough, ridiculous amounts of toy packaging garbage, toys flung across the entire house and hosting guests in my pajamas. Perhaps I need to be more realistic about what is really achievable.

I had a week off between Christmas and New Years which I planned to spend contemplating lofty goals for 2011. Instead, I was reminded that despite all my planning, there are truly very few aspects of life that are in my control. Hmmm...despite the best laid plans...doesn't that sound familiar. It seems that the only thing I can control in life is how I respond to situations or people. So for this year, I'm just going to focus on being the best me that I can be. And that doesn't involve long lists of resolutions or beating myself up when I inevitably fall sort. It just involves taking every day step by step and trying to remember to make the best of every moment.

In other news:

• Hayden is an official crawler. Jeramy convinced her to do it by placing Gerber puffs in front of her. She is quite food motivated you see. She began as the Frankenstein of crawling, but is becoming more agile every day. Last week she even pulled herself up on the living room ottoman. My husband thinks this is all wonderful. I think it would have been find to let the whole mobility thing wait until the age of 18 or so.
• Related to this, my floors are impossibly dirty.
  
• Related to this, it is very hard to keep small objects out of the hands of an 8 month old when a two year old also lives in your home.
  
• Jeramy is still home with the girls. He hopes this may change one day soon with the promise of some work on the horizon. Unfortunately it is work that is an hour away at half the pay. Despite this he seems to be looking forward to this prospect, as it seems that life as a SAHD isn't exactly full of bon bons and naps.
• I celebrated my 33rd birthday by hiring a maid service to come clean my house. Best gift ever.
  
• Jillian is quite the talkative little girl these days. I only understand about 3% of what she says, but that increases to 6% when Jeramy interprets for her.
  
• I'm finding that 2 is an easier age in terms of discipline. She actually gets the concept of time out, will stand in the corner by herself (usually) and the poor behavior usually stops afterward (for maybe 5 minutes).
• I'm finding that 2 sucks in terms of whining over everything. She wants to sit in my lap for dinner. Sissy is playing with her toy. Best of all are the situations where I cannot figure out what she is unhappy about.
  
• I'm becoming a very proficient with coupons in my efforts to save money given Jeramy's job situation.
  
• I'm really looking forward to the Seattle area IF blogger get together on Saturday!

I really have missed blogging and connecting with others. So in 2011 I really hope to get back into the writing routine. Oh wait, that sounds like a resolution, and I'm not going to make those.